Taking Steps Toward the Perfect Day

Last week in Calm Moms Collective we pondered our perfect day. The question I posted was:

Imagine you woke up this morning and found out that you didn't have to work, or take care of your kids, and weren't allowed to do any housework. Also, in this imaginary day, it's impossible to feel guilt. Tell me what you would do with your day.

I LOVED the responses. There were definitely themes along the lines of naps, working out, reading, spa days, wine, and delicious meals with great friends. It's a fun exercise to do even think about, because just picturing your perfect day enough to answer the question can elevate your mood and energy. If you didn't do it last week, give it a try now! 

But of course everyone knows that perfect day is just a fantasy and can never really happen, right? WRONG. Just wrong. It totally can. It may be difficult to plan and pull off the day exactly as you planned but it's completely possible to make a part of it happen, even if it's just a small part. It's very unlikely that if you do nothing, someone is going to deliver your perfect day. But if you take steps to make it happen, you may get the perfect day feeling just by doing a few small things.

Let's look at some examples! 

Jen says her perfect day is "first of all, go back to sleep. Then get up, coffee, breakfast... go to yoga, maybe a pedicure, lunch with a friend, a little shopping (no guilt, right?) and after all that activity, relax at home before the other people that live in my house get home."

That sounds amazing, doesn't it?

Jen could possibly go all out and pick a day in the future and take the day off work. She could make calls and arrange the appointments and create a day just as she has described. But if that feels overwhelming, think smaller. 

Pick one part, like lunch with a friend, and arrange that. If that feels too hard or the friend lives out of town, go smaller. Reach out to your friend via text and plan a phone or facetime date for lunch or coffee or a drink. If even that feels too big, catch up with your friend via text and let her know that you miss her.

I realize that a facetime drink date with a friend is not the perfect day, but it's a tiny step in the direction of that day, and will make you feel that "perfect day" feeling for a short time! You can always take a step, no matter how tiny, toward your perfect day, or job, or house. Just pick something small and manageable and do it!

Let's look at Megan's perfect day:

"Coffee and eggs Benedict outside on the patio of an cute restaurant in a very cute downtown area with my mom and sister. Any downtown area will do as long as it’s cute with lots of shopping and good people watching. Weather would be a perfect day for a yoga pants and a fleece. Follow that up with shopping and I buy whatever I want with no budget in mind. Then lounging poolside next to the beach with margaritas, guacamole and chips with all my ladies laughing and having a great time. Then to a movie that night with my husband and off to bed knowing I get to sleep in the next day."

Nice. Sounds amazing. This one might take a tad more planning but again, not impossible. Let's break this one down into smaller and smaller parts.  Pick one part of the day that sounds especially great, such as poolside guacamole and margaritas next to the beach with special friends/family. If planning a trip to the beach seems too hard, just go for the poolside part. If coordinating the friends poolside and making guac and margaritas seems too hard, head to the store and buy them pre-made. If you can't do the pool or the friends, put your kids to bed and eat your store-made guac and have a margarita in silence and visualize the beach. Again, I realize this final version is a watered down version of the perfect day, but it's a step in the right direction and a step above your average day!

Then there's Wallace, who came with an excellent Perfect Day:

"Have a stylist do my hair and makeup, Eat three delicious calorie free meals prepared by someone else, a shopping trip where everything fit (even the jeans!) and made me look 20lbs lighter, some sun soaking by the pool, and a happy hour with my favorite red wine."

Again, with lots of effort, this day could be coordinated. (Well except the calorie free meals. But if anyone figures that out please let us know ASAP!). But if this day is too hard to make happen, let's go smaller. I love the idea of a stylist doing hair and make up! Wallace could make that appointment. If that's too big, pin ideas of hair and make up you like and try one of them next time you go out and feel extra beautiful.

What's one small, easy-ish step you could take to get one piece of your perfect day soon?

PS This trick works for anything that feels overwhelming. And one small step often leads to another which leads to another and pretty soon you're getting there.