Quick & Easy Tip for Staying Present

It's impossible to worry about the future or think about the past if you are solidly in the present moment. As the brilliant Eckhart Tolle says “Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry – all forms of fear – are caused by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of non-forgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence.”

So how do we get there? How can we be more present?

Here's quick exercise you can do to practice. I'll share a little story about how I used this handy trick to NOT lose my mind earlier this week. It was 7 pm and homework time and one darling child was running laps around the kitchen island with the dog. The other was crying about spelling words and asking darling child #1 to stop running laps - in her least nice, most screechy yelling voice. I was thinking of how many spelling tests we'd have to prep for this year (future focused anxiety), and how tired I was, and how I'd already used up all of the "good mom" I had in me for the day (past focus). I was debating in my mind if I went to bed right then if they would eventually put themselves to bed. Probably not!?

Luckily I remembered the surest way out of this situation is to be fully present in the present. I would recommend trying this in a quiet moment, but I was desperate so I just went into another room. First, grab a small portion of a food or drink that you already love. I often do this with coffee, but since it was nighttime and I wanted something salty, I chose a pistachio in the shell. Martha Beck taught me this exercise, and she uses dark chocolate.

Take a small portion of whatever you choose, and eat it slowly focusing on every sensation - sight, smell, taste, sound and texture. I noticed the satisfying "pop" sound when I got the pistachio open, and the lovely shade of green, and the perfectly salty taste, and how it's hard but soft at the same time. I even took a moment to appreciate that I could get a whole bag of them delivered to my door with my groceries, and how thankful I am that I can afford to buy them. Couple deep breaths, and I was back to the present. I was able to wrap up the evening and put the kids to bed. I could tell I needed extra sleep more than I needed to tidy up my house, so I went right to bed, too.

After you practice that little trick, try to be FULLY present using all of your senses once a day. For example, when you give someone a hug, take a couple seconds to really notice all the details and send love to that person. You can also be fully present when your child is telling you about his day, or you have a rare quiet moment in your office, or when you walk your dog. Go through all of your 5 senses and just notice and savor every bit of that moment. With practice, this can become a good and powerful habit.

PS Yes, the food or drink you choose can be wine!