If you missed last week’s post about my client Jane and her gradual but meaningful progress working her way out of a toxic relationship, check it out. This is part 2 in the story of Jane’s toxic relationship with her boss.

After we worked on Jane’s thoughts, her next step was to clean out her closet. Does that sound strange? There is definitely a connection between the state of our physical space and the state of our mind.

Jane’s closet looked like this:

We established the criteria for the closet clean out. Jane wanted to walk into her closet and feel clarity and calm. We decided she’d abide by these rules:

If it doesn’t fit right now, it’s gone. (Everyone struggles with this one! But you guys, if you are saving something for “when you lose weight” or “in case you gain weight” or “if it comes back in style” you are wasting your energy and creating negative thoughts every time you see that item. Let. It. Go.)
If I pick up an item and it’s not a “hell yes” or a “absolutely not” but more in the maybe category, try it on. If it doesn’t make me feel great, then it’s gone.

Jane also decided that she wanted to clean her closet out all in one shot because that works for her. She set aside some weekend time and got back to work. I asked Jane to notice the types of items that she was selecting to give away. There is usually a theme to what we choose to get rid of.

And look at these beautiful results! Just looking at the photos makes me feel relaxed.

Here’s what Jane told me when I asked her what she noticed about her give away items:

“Those items all belonged to a woman who was hiding. I was trying to cover myself up. I don’t need to do that anymore.”

The beauty is, when you give away those clothes, you can also give away that story. Jane doesn’t need to hide any more.

What's hiding in there?