Remember the Yellow Dress: Thoughts on Thoughts

Circumstances drive our thoughts. Thoughts drive our feelings. Feelings drive our actions.

For example, let’s say I have a free half hour and would like to take a walk on a nice spring day.

Circumstance: I have no plans for the 30 minutes.

Thought: I’d like to take a walk, but I should instead {insert your version here - pick up the house, do some work, run to the store, clean the bathroom}

Feeling: Guilt, overwhelm, regret

Action: Either go for the walk and feel guilty about it, or skip the walk and do the work/clean the bathroom/whatever your version is.

See how the thought drives the feeling, which drives the action?

This is kinda awesome, guys. It’s awesome because whether we believe that thought or not is TOTALLY in our control. We don’t have much control in life, to be honest. We don’t even control the thoughts that our brain suggests to us. But deciding to believing them or not IS IN OUR CONTROL. So let’s say in the situation above you take that “I’d like to take a walk, but . . . “ thought and say no thank you to that one. Instead you sub in something like “It’s a beautiful day, I have 30 minutes, and I’m going to fully enjoy a walk.”  Think about how your posture would change if you thought that. You’d be excited for the walk. You’d enjoy it while doing it, instead of feeling guilty.

Think of it using this metaphor. You walk into a cute boutique looking for a summer dress. A helpful sales person says she’ll help you find it. She comes out with a dress in your least favorite color and in a fit that is not flattering or comfortable for you. For me, that would be mustard yellow, which makes me look like death, and a form fitting dress that makes me feel like I can’t breathe, and is made of an itchy material. So, instead of saying “oh no thanks, do you have a flowy beachy white dress I could try?” I just buy the mustard yellow form fitting itchy dress. And wear it every day. And it makes me feel crappy every time. But I keep putting it on.

That’s what we do with our thoughts! Even though the thought doesn’t suit us at all, we keep putting it on, every day.

Today, notice your “mustard yellow dress thought.” Tell that nice salesperson in your brain “no thank you” and pick a dress that you like. Pick something that makes you feel good! And let me know how it goes.