Sorry for acting like a total maniac

Everyone who lives in my house knows that our babysitter, Ellie, makes our world go ‘round. She fills in every gap. She picks up, drops off, bakes, does homework, and genuinely loves my kids. We all love Ellie.

 One day, during the summer of COVID, my kids were terrible when Ellie was here. They fought. They talked back. They created mess after mess without picking up. They were loud and obnoxious and interrupted my work. By the time Ellie left, I was sure she’d never return. 

 I sent my darlings to their bedrooms with instructions to write apology notes to Ellie. My son’s card was very succinct, saying only “I’m sorry for acting like a total maniac. Love, Oliver” 

 He hit all of the key points of a good apology. It was true. It was sincere. He admitted to the mistake. He ended with love. 

Since then I’ve been using his apology as a framework for my own. After I get mad, I ask myself: 

1. Why did I act like a total maniac?  

Keep in mind that another person’s actions (such as your child walking in the door and saying “why does it smell poopy in here, what did you make for dinner”) can’t cause you to act like a maniac. It’s your own thoughts about the comment that does. In this case, I might notice that my thought was “why do I even try!?”. If I change that thought to “I love fajitas and I’m going to enjoy them” I’d be less likely to act like a maniac. 

2. How can I apologize and end with love? 

Simply say I’m sorry I acted like a maniac, and I love you.