DO worry about it

When I had been trying to get pregnant for a few years, both of my grandmothers offered me the same advice.  

“Just stop worrying about it” they both told me.  

Ohhhh!! So that’s what I’ve been missing. I just need to flip that worry switch to “off” and I’ll be pregnant immediately. Sigh . . .  

I know they had good intentions, but telling someone (including yourself!) not to worry just doesn’t help. Since we can’t just turn it off, here’s an alternative tool to try for your worries.  

What’s the tool? 

This simple tool is called Worry It All the Way Through. 

It will help you slow down, investigate, and understand your worry. The goal isn’t to make your worry disappear. It’s to help you look it in the eye, see what could happen, and reassure yourself that you can figure out what needs to happen next.  

How do I use it? 

Think about your worry. Then, ask yourself the question “and then what could happen?” until you get to the bottom of it.   

For Example 

“I’m worried I won’t be able to get pregnant.” 

What could happen if you don’t get pregnant? 

“I won’t be a mom” 

What could happen if you aren’t a mom? 

“I’d be devastated about not being a mom” 

What could happen if you were devastated about not being a mom? 

“I’d look for other ways to be a mom, like adoption. Or I could explore what life would be like without children.”

Again, this isn’t going to make the worry go away. It will help you understand it and know what your options are. Often, it makes the problem go away, like in this smaller example. 

Example 2 

I’m worried because my daughter forgot her lunch and I don’t have time to bring it to her. 

What could happen if she doesn’t have her lunch?  

“She won’t have anything to eat.” 

What could happen if she doesn’t have anything to eat.  

“Someone might share with her. The school might give her lunch. She might be hungry.”  

What could happen if she was hungry? 

“She could have trouble concentrating during school.” 

What could happen if she had trouble concentrating at school? 

“It might not be her best school day ever. But it’s just one day.” 

Give it a try next time you notice yourself worrying and let me know how it goes! 

PS Sick of worry ruling your life? I’ve got your back. Set up a time to chat with me about 1 on 1 coaching.