My friends and family used to tell me that I have a saddest sad face in the world, when I'm feeling down. I think that's because I HATED to cry, or be sad, or admit anything was wrong.

I'd just tough it out and hold back the tears and press on. When it eventually did come out, like at my beloved grandmother's funeral, I'd cry buckets and buckets of tears and feel sad about everything in the whole world.

I didn't realize that I could just ALLOW my emotions. I thought shoving them down them was the only way.

When an emotion like sadness comes up, you basically have 2 choices:

Option 1: Stuff It

💭 Thoughts: "I feel sad. I cannot feel sad. I hate feeling sad. I don't have time to feel sad. Feeling sad is wrong and embarrassing. Must. Be. Happy."

🖐 Behavior: Take any and all actions to avoid the sad feeling - make yourself super busy, scroll online for hours, watch Netflix, drink wine, shop, stay at work late. Whatever it takes to keep yourself distracted all day - because if your brain has a moment of silence, sad will be knocking at the door again.

🔚 End Result: Sad is stuffed down to be processed later. Feelings never actually go away when you ignore them. They just lay in waiting.

⏲Time Spent: All day, or days, or months or years.

Option 2: Feel It

💭 Thoughts: Why am I feeling sad? Oh, my heart is broken. I'm going to allow sad because the emotion is just a sensation in my body. It won’t hurt me. I'm just going to allow it and notice how it feels.

🖐 Behavior: Feel the emotion. Simply notice how it feels in your body. If tears come, allow them. After about 90 seconds, the emotion passes. (I'm not exaggerating on that - studies show that an emotion passes through our body in less than 2 minutes if we allow it.)

🔚 Result: Emotion is cleared. Healing has begun. You can now concentrate on the rest of your day.

⏲Time Spent: Two minutes. It's likely this emotion could resurface again another day, and you'd follow the same process. After going through the "feel it" option as many times as you need, it will be gone.

If you aren't processing your feelings, reach out to me. I can help. If you can't even tell what feelings you're having, reach out to me, I can help. If you feel "stuck" in life, it's very likely due to some stuck emotions that want to come out. Reach out to me, I can help.

PS I cry all the time now, so I've probably lost my title for Saddest Sad Face.

Are you a stuffer or a feeler?