Pain happens. Suffering is optional.
Sometimes life hands us something hard (the pain). Often, we can make it much worse by thinking negatively about it (the suffering).
For example, here's the pain I felt this morning:
First, I went to the dentist to have two fillings replaced, which was uncomfortable and cost $377 out of pocket.
Next, I went to the DMV to renew my (already expired) plates.
After waiting in line, I found out my car needs an emission inspection to renew.
After getting the inspection, I found out that my (1 year old, fancy) car failed the inspection.
Optional Suffering:
Ugh the dentist. Why did I have to get new fillings? I have the worst luck.
My mouth is numb and now I can't eat anything and I'm starving. In fact, I remember when I got my wisdom teeth out, my lip was numb for weeks.
If "they" would have sent me the renewal notice, my license and registration wouldn't be overdue.
I cannot believe an inspection is required for a new car. I cannot believe a new car failed inspection. The dealership has the worst customer service. This entire experience will suck.
I wanted to get all of this taken care of today and now it's going to drag on and on.
I don't have time for this and I don't have anyone to help me take care of these things.
When I read back through that optional suffering list, it makes me laugh! Talk about dramatic!
BUT, that's where our brain goes. Our brain will naturally default to the negative.
Luckily, we can notice those thoughts, and let them go. We can laugh at them. We can replace them.
Optional Non-Suffering:
I'm so glad I got that dental problem resolved. My dentist is awesome and I'd pay a lot to be in her practice. I'm grateful I have the money to care for myself.
Everything with my car will be resolved. I'm not going to waste my day being mad. I'm just going to call the dealer and get it fixed.
I chose the non-suffering path, and now I've moved on to writing this post, seeing clients, and in general enjoying my day.
This evening I'll enjoy time with my kids, instead of letting my day be ruined by some random pain.
If you're suffering hours, days or weeks after pain - talk to me! I can teach you how to turn your thoughts and around and employ the "non-suffering" option in all aspects of life.