How A Clutter Free Space Affects Kids
Clutter weighs heavily on our minds. whether we consciously notice it or not. Clearing out clutter is one of the cornerstones for bringing calm into your life. Read on to hear about Bobbie’s experience of de-cluttering, and the positive effect it had on her entire family.
Client Profile:
Bobbie is a wife and mom of 2 boys, ages 7 and 10. She is in the process of starting her own business. She made a conscious and financially difficult decision to leave her corporate job because it all felt like too much. Bobbie felt she couldn't be present with her family because she was overwhelmed with work. Everyone in her family was running at a frantic pace and she just had to make a huge change to make it stop. She has spent the last year bringing calm and peace to her family's life. One of the key components of making life more simple was de-cluttering their home.
The Before:
Making her home a calm and peaceful place to be was a part of the plan to restore order and help everyone feel more relaxed. Bobbie went from room to room and, over many months, finished almost the entire house. The one exception was her children’s rooms. Initially the boys had separate bedrooms. When they asked to share, they put both of their beds in one room and used the second one as overflow for clothes and toys. Over the 3 years they shared rooms, they brought more and more stuff into their rooms, as kids do!
How did their rooms make you feel when you walked past them, or went in?
Tense, overwhelmed, anxious, and guilty that we weren't giving them a relaxing space, although they didn't say anything. I'm not sure the boys realized how stressful it was to them to live in their cluttered rooms.
Before you and I worked together, what did you do to try to solve the problem?
I just sort of avoided it. I tried to start cleaning it a few times, but it was such a big job. The worse and worse it got, the less I wanted to do anything with it. It had to get to the breaking point where it bothered me so much every day that I couldn't take it anymore.
I was also worried about the kids reaction to me clearing out all of their stuff. I didn’t want to upset them, because they don’t like getting rid of things. I asked them to go through their stuff and pick out what they were ready to give away. They came downstairs with like 5 items, and we needed to give away hundreds!
The During
We staged everything in Bobbie’s living room by category so that we could decide what stayed and what went. She is smiling in this pic while saying through her teeth “I’m so mad that it got this out of control!”
Bobbie and I made a plan and got to work. Since she lives locally, I went to her home and we tackled all of the clutter in one night. Please note that her sons were gone for this part of the process! Her kids (and mine, and likely yours!) would panic every time they would see anything leaving their rooms. We knew we had a few hours without the kids, and we broke a sweat going up and down the stairs and sorting through everything as fast as we could. We thinned out the books, toys they had lost interest in, clothes and shoes that no longer fit.
We put the "to donate" items in the back of her husband's truck so the boys wouldn't visibly see the 6 large black trash bags of their stuff, headed to Goodwill!
How did you feel during the process?
Mad! I was so mad at myself for letting it get this bad.
Over the next several weeks, Bobbie and her husband painted the boys rooms, got bunk beds to save space, and moved all of their clothes into the room where they sleep. The "overflow" room is now the boys office, where they each have a desk to draw, play computer games, and do homework.
The After
The beautiful room after de-cluttering!
(No, her children do not drink soy lattes, I am such a professional photographer that I set my drink IN the shot before taking it!)
How has the de-cluttering and organizing in the boys rooms affected your family?
It’s been amazing. The boys are both so much happier! Especially my younger son. He doesn't love change, but he actually did really well with this. They love having their own clean space and their own desks. They know where all of their clothes are and lay them out the night before. I let them keep what they want to on their desks, so it’s the area they are totally in charge of. They will now go to their room to relax or read sometimes, which they wouldn't have done before.
What's the biggest lesson you learned from this process?
I realized a couple important things.
That we were holding on to too many "things" and that we held on to them to avoid making our boys upset. Now that it's all gone and they have their rooms, there is absolutely nothing they miss.
I've always felt that for me, having a clean, cozy space is essential, but I underestimated the importance of that for kids. It made a huge difference. We are all calmer.
Just like anything, you can walk by and shut the door on a room or an emotion, but eventually it boils over and you have to do something about it. It won't just go away.
Thank You Bobbie for being so open and honest about your process! Great job on making your house a peaceful place for your family.