If you really love me, empty my dishwasher
My kids and I recently moved to a new house and I was absolutely overwhelmed with the whole experience, in a good way. Well, I was overwhelmed in the bad way too at times (!!), but mostly I was overwhelmed with the love and support I felt from so many people. My brother and dad renovated the house. My sister & brother-in-law put together kitchen cabinets and hung new lights. My mom cleaned, watched kids, and fed all of us. My sister-in-law cleaned and painted a yucky closet that is now beautiful, and helped me unpack for days. Friends did amazing things like picking up dirty laundry and delivering it back to me, clean and pressed. Another helped me unpack (allll day!). Still others dropped off food, flowers, and wine. One dear friend who is an Interior Designer gave me a free hour of her time to help me arrange furniture and hang paintings. I'm just simply overwhelmed with love!
This all felt like love to me because my main "love language" is Acts of Service - and that is exactly what every one of those examples are. There is no way to show me love quite like taking something off my plate and doing it for me. Empty my dishwasher, and I’m yours forever.
Are you familiar with Gary Chapman's concept of Love Languages? If not, take 5 minutes to take the quiz and find out what your top love languages are. The test basically measures what feels like love to you. Do you feel loved by your spouse when they say "you are doing a great job" - or would a hug be more loving? Do you love a surprise gift, no matter how small? Does your best friend clearing her calendar to spend a Saturday afternoon with you make your heart sing?
The five love languages are:
Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch
We normally give love in the way that we like to receive it. For example, if I wanted to do something special for my daughter, my first instinct would be to pick up her room and give her a hug, based on my love language preferences of Acts of Service followed by Physical Touch. Hers, though, is Quality Time, so for her to feel loved, it would be better if I sat in her room and cleaned it up with her, while chatting. Or better yet, forget the messy room and bake some cookies together. (If Sugar was a love language, that would be #1 for her!)
Take a few minutes to take the test. Consider your results and what your loved ones might prefer, too. This weekend I challenge you to show love to someone in their own language.