Tips for a better to do list
We all have a "to do list" - and depending on your personality that could be a list in your mind, on random sticky notes, in a very organized and color-coded planner, on your phone or some combination of all of those. Sometimes we have a "home" list and a "work" list, sometimes a shared list with our spouse, a list for kids, etc. You get the idea. In most cases, that list feels overwhelming.
At the end of the day, do you ever look at your to do list and feel like a big ol' failure? I did! Even though I was working hard at everything all day, the to do list was never ever DONE. If you start the day by making an exhaustive list of to dos that never get checked off, you are likely setting yourself up for failure.
Making a to-do list that you can never actually accomplish that day wastes a ton of energy. First of all, it wastes the energy it takes to make the list, and then it wastes worry time when you know you aren't accomplishing some or all of the tasks. At the end of the day, having a list of 20 items with 4 checked off can make you feel defeated and that now you have to add those 16 un-done items to tomorrow's list, before you add the new 20. More wasted energy moving those items.
Instead I recommend that you do a couple things to make your to do list feel better, even if the list is full. First, create an exhaustive list of everything you need to accomplish. Put it down on paper so that you don't have to think about it at 3 am. Getting it out of your brain and onto a piece of paper saves you the mental energy required to keep remembering to send in items for the bake sale on Friday. Consider this your "Mind Dump" list.
Each day, preferably in the morning before you get too busy, review the mind dump list and consider the items for your to do list that day. Now to add items to your daily list. Some experts swear by only having 1 item, or 3 items per day. I do a top 3 and then add smaller "nice to have" items after the top 3. Write down a do able list. Set yourself up for success.
Now review your items. Likely there are some that you enjoy or sound like fun, or at least aren't opposed to. Great. Also very likely are some that you don't want to do at all, but must. Those are the ones we want to use a cool tool called "The 3 B's" on. I learned this from Martha Beck's training and I love it.
With a to do list item you don't really want to do, you have a few options. I'll give a more detailed explanation shortly on all three, but in summary they are:
Bag it - forget it, cross it off the list
Barter it - essentially pay someone else to do it, or trade services
Better it - make the job better by doing small things like giving yourself a reward upon completion.
Let's look at some of examples of applying the 3 Bs.
Bag It - Imagine just drawing a line through a to do list item and crossing it off before you even begin. Does this give you anxiety to even think about!? I get it if so. But the easiest way to make your list more do able is to have less items. Is there an item you've been putting on your list that doesn't get done? If you've been meaning to organize a dinner party, but every time you think of it you become overwhelmed thinking of what the menu would include, and the dishes you'd have to buy because you don't have enough, and how you'll have to clean off the dining room table of its stacks of papers order to eat there . . . consider taking it off your list for now. Let yourself off the hook! You don't have to do everything all the time.
Barter It - Trade services with someone. Offer something you are good at and enjoy for something they are good at and enjoy. My mom babysits my kids and I clean out her closets. I recently helped a friend de-clutter and re-organize her kitchen for a batch of her amazing homemade spaghetti sauce. I asked a client to help me market my business online in exchange for coaching. What do you have to offer in exchange for other services?
Another way to barter is to pay for the service. I know this isn't always an option, but if you are the in camp of "I have more money than time", it may be worth it to pay someone to clean your house. My old boss spends $50 a week to have someone come into the house on Monday and prepare healthy, fresh vegetarian meals for her family. It was important to her to stick to her healthy vegetarian ways, but she simply didn't have the time to execute that each week.
Better It - This is one is my favorite, because every task can have some good in it if you look hard enough! Give yourself a reward for completing it. For example if I call the state tax office (on my to do list today!) and solve my problem then I will make myself a latte in my favorite cup. You could listen to a fun podcast while doing dishes. Get yourself some new running shorts after you run 4 times in a week.
Hopefully after doing your mind dump, and then applying the 3Bs to your list, your list is not only shorter (bag it!) but more fun, too.
I created a one page printable guide that you can download - try this method for next week's to do list and let me know what you think!