Fear is Bossy

Earlier this week I experienced a feeling that I’ve felt about a million times since I started my own business. Fear. I was getting ready to be interviewed on a podcast, where I would have the chance to tell my own story, and share the ways in which I help women improve their own lives.

Here’s what fear whispered in my ear: No one cares what you have to say. You don’t have anything original to share. Who are you to think you can change the world? Just cancel the interview and forget it.

A few years ago, when I considered starting my life coaching business, I had an opportunity to take a corporate job instead.

In that case, fear whispered loudly in my ear: Take the job, play it safe, you have a family to support. Why risk starting something new when you know you can easily be successful in this job? Who are you to pass up on a guaranteed paycheck? Other people would kill for this job, you should be grateful. Take. The. Job.

So when fear tries to boss us around, should we listen?  

Here’s a quick trick you can use to decide, courtesy of Martha Beck. Ask yourself:

Does moving forward feel scary, but in an exhilarating way? Is it like getting ready to jump off the high dive into a cool pool on a hot summer day? Or does it feel more toxic, like getting ready to jump into a polluted pond?

The podcast interview fear felt like the high dive into the pool. I thanked fear for speaking up, and for trying to keep me small and safe. Then I felt the fear, and I did the interview.

Taking a job I knew I didn’t want felt like jumping into a polluted pond. Starting a Life Coaching business felt like the pool. I patted fear on its little head and declined a job I knew I didn’t want. I felt the fear of starting my own business, and I did it anyway.

The lesson here is: dive into the pool, but steer clear of the pond, my friends.

Wise words from my idol Jen Sincero