Change hurts. But it's worth it.
Years ago, I decided I wanted to get in seriously good shape. So I did what was the hot trend of the time and purchased the P90X DVDs. I’d always been a runner and was in decent shape, so I went into the fitness pre-test pretty confident.
It turns out, my friends, that I was terrible at everything. I could do zero pull-ups, a few lame push-ups, I was not at all flexible. I fell over during my attempt at yoga poses. It was humbling, to say the least.
The good news is, I was already in the habit of working out. The hard part was, I was switching to something I was terrible at. But I wanted new results, and new results require change.
Tony Horton, the P90X master, says a quote throughout the videos that I still think of often. If he’s telling the audience to do 12 reps of curls, he counts up to 8 and then says something to the effect of “ok, folks, these last ones are where growth happens. Growth happens where it hurts.”
Isn’t that the truth? Think about it. For any kind of change, right when it starts to feel uncomfortable, the metaphorical 9th rep, we want to quit. Because change is hard! But we forget that we can acknowledge that it’s hard and do it anyway.
Let’s say you have a goal to be more present with your kids in the evening. You make a plan to put your phone down from 6 pm - 8 pm. The first night it feels pretty good and you notice that it’s going well. Night 2, little harder, but you hang in there. Night 3, you really want to “just quickly” check your email/facebook/insta. That’s your 9th rep, that’s when it’s way easier to quit the new plan and go back to the old. But this is where change happens. If you can hang in there for a few more days, no phone will become the norm.
Or maybe you want to leave work at 5 pm instead of 7 pm. The first day you work diligently and walk out the door at 4:59, feeling awesome. Day 2, someone asks you for a last-minute favor so you head out the door at 5:15, but still feeling pretty good. Day 3, you think “this is too hard, I don’t even really mind staying until 7 (a lie to yourself!) and go back to your old habits. You quit during the 9th rep! Right when it started to hurt. Where the rubber meets the road.
Is there a change you’d like to make in your life? Here’s what you need to remember:
It’s going to hurt. Maybe not the first time or even the second time, but all change is hard at some point.
You can still do it. Try the mantra “this is hard and I’m going to do it anyway” or “I’m not going to negotiate with myself today, I’m doing it” or “I’m proud of myself for doing hard things”
Remember - if you have one bad day where you slide back to your old ways or behaviors - it isn’t the end. Get back on the horse. You can do it.
So get on out there and make the changes you want in your life! And you know I can’t end this message without saying I’d love to help you do that if you need help.
PS Tony Horton also likes to say “It’s ok to eat cake, but only on your birthday!” I’d like to go on record saying I totally disagree with him on that point. Cake should be eaten whenever the opportunity presents itself.