I’m a divorced single mom. Up until now, I’ve kept my married name, which is also my kids’ last name. It didn’t feel quite right to keep my married name, when I’m no longer married. It didn’t feel quite right to go back to maiden name either, because I’ve done and experienced so much since that was my name.

And of course I had the thoughts of "what will everyone think?"

What would my kids think?

Will people think we’re a “broken” family when we don’t have the same last name?

Would it hurt my ex-in law’s feelings?

Will my clients know who I am anymore?

Instead of freaking out about those questions, I turned inward, and flipped those questions around to me. (This is a great trick to use anytime you're worried about what "everyone" thinks.)

Here were my real worries:

What will I think?

Will I think we’re a broken family when we don’t all have the same last name?

Will it hurt my feelings to drop my married name?

Will I know who I am anymore?

Ahhhh. Very telling. The heart of the problem was me, and my thoughts. I felt uncomfortable choosing because I wasn’t working through my own thoughts about it.

With the help of some excellent coaches in my Coaching Mastermind, I worked through all of those questions and more. Here’s what I found out.

I can be whomever I like for absolutely any reason I want.
I’m a culmination of everything I have been up to now. I’m grateful for ALL of it, even the hard parts. It’s all made me who I am.
I fully own who I am and who I’m becoming and I LOVE her.

And based on that, my name is Michelle Jane Gauthier.

Michelle for obvious reasons.

Jane for 3 people I love - both of my grandmothers (Jean and Billie Jane) and it's the female version of John, my dad's name.

Gauthier, my maiden name, because to me that embodies my family. My family represents strength, kindness, creativity and a sense of adventure.

Who do you want to be? This is a great exercise, even if you have no intention of changing your name.

PS If you're ready to dig into who YOU really want to be, set up a free hour with me to find out more about coaching.

Yep, I changed my name . . .