I blamed myself

When my son was 2, he didn't talk. The reason he didn't talk was my fault. It was because I worked. If I had been a stay at home mom, he would have gotten so much more interaction with me, and would have started talking earlier. I felt guilty that he didn't talk, and guilty that I liked working. I was ashamed and didn't talk to anyone about it.  

At the time, I truly believed his speech delay was my fault.  

There are plenty of reasons a two year old might not talk. None of them have to do with his mom working, or not working.  

💭My thought "this is my fault" made me feel guilty.

💪🏻When I felt guilty, I beat myself up.

😐When I beat myself up, I felt awful.

I created my own suffering with my thoughts. My guilt and shame did not help solve the problem. I wish I had known there was another way to think about it. Instead, I could have:

💭Chosen a thought like "I trust myself to figure this out", which makes me feel empowered.

💪🏻When I felt empowered, I could have figured out the next step to solve the problem.

🤗When I took a next step to solve the problem, I'd feel good. When I feel good, I can be kind to myself and focus on my son and my work.

Whatever your "not talking 2 year old" situation is today, please remember this: Self-blame and guilt never solve a problem. You can stop that guilt and blame by changing the way you think about the problem.

Also, here's a hug 🤗. I know you're doing your best.  

PS It hurt my heart to write this article. Not for my son's sake, he started talking and hasn't stopped since. For mine. I am sorry to my old self for the mean talk and mom guilt.   

PPS If you suffer from mom guilt, I can help you change that. Set up a discovery call with me to learn more.