Mom Guilt

Last week Handsome Man Friend and I went on a fantastic trip to Joshua Tree and Palm Springs for my dear friend’s wedding. 

Guess what tried to come along? Guilt. Stinking mom guilt. UGH! 

If you get an attack of guilt like I did, follow this simple process to make sure guilt isn’t the boss of you. 

Step 1: Remember, your feelings are always caused by your own thoughts.

Get curious, and figure out what those thoughts are. My feeling of guilt was caused by these two thoughts:

💭 When I was a kid, I hated when my mom was gone. (Right now my mom is reading this saying “I barely ever left town!” which is actually true but I did not like her to be gone, ever. I mean, she had to stand outside of my preschool classroom in order for me to stay at school.) 

💭 My kids tell me they will miss me and that they are sad I’m leaving. 

Step 2: Investigate those thoughts.

1️⃣Assume your thoughts are true. Do they change your decision? If it’s true my kids are sad when I leave, does that mean I should stay home? If it’s true that I was sad when my mom wasn’t with me, should I stay home with my kids? 

No. They will be safe and likely very happy while I’m gone. 

2️⃣How could this situation benefit your kids, benefit you, and benefit your relationships?

Kids: They’ll appreciate me more when I get back home. While I'm gone, they’ll have fun with our babysitter who they adore. 

Me: I’ll get some much needed rest and fun and return re-energized. 

Me + Kids: I firmly believe that it’s good to miss your kids. It’s good for our relationship to be apart sometimes! 

Me + Handsome Man Friend: We’ll get to hang out without being interrupted or responsible for anyone or anything, which will help our relationship, too. 

The moral of the story is, you don't have to freak out with guilt. You can just get curious, notice what's happening, and go on the trip. Guilt can go along for the ride, it just doesn't need to drive the bus (or fly the plane).

PS If you're having trouble ditching the guilt, I can help you. Set up a complementary discovery session with me here to learn more about 1 on 1 coaching.