Yelling at kids & too much ice cream

Let’s say you had a crazy day at work and forgot to return an important call before you left for the day. You walk in the backdoor at home and trip over a backpack that should be hung up, so you yell at your kids. When everyone is finally asleep, you eat chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream until your stomach hurts. 

When this happens, do you feel shame or regret? 

Regret is when you have done something you wish you hadn’t. In this case, the THING (losing your temper for example) is bad. 

Shame is when you tell yourself that YOU are bad.

Regret: “I lost my temper with my kids last night” 

Shame: “I am a horrible mom.” 

Regret: “I ate a half gallon of ice cream and now I feel sick. I wish I hadn't done that.” 

Shame: “I’m such a bad person. I can’t control myself.” 

Regret: I forgot to get back to my customer before I left work today. Ugh. I will call her first thing tomorrow.

Shame: I am the worst. I can never pull it together. 

Eating too much ice cream, yelling at your kids, or forgetting to do something never makes you a bad human! 

Ask yourself:

What is the THING I wish I hadn’t done? 

What could I do differently next time? 

Remind yourself: 

I’m just a human, having a human experience. I do things I wish I hadn’t sometimes. But, I am still innately good. 

Give yourself a break. 

PS If you're hard on yourself and don't know how to stop, I can help you. The first step is to set up a discovery call with me to learn more about 1 on 1 coaching.