Expectations vs. Reality

Last week, I enjoyed a *blissful* day of uninterrupted work. The kids were back in school. The house stayed clean all day long. 

In the afternoon, my daughter bounced in the door full of stories from her first day at middle school. I felt such gratitude that I was there when she got home. I left to pick up my son from practice, expecting to make dinner in my clean kitchen when I got home. 

( dun, dun dun ) 

I returned to a gigantic mess. My daughter had decided to bake “horse treats” for her horse. It was a tornado of flour, peanut butter, oats and dirty dishes everywhere I looked.   

I wanted to CRY. My perfect day was ruined. There’s no way I was making dinner in that kitchen. 

Then (here’s the part I’m not proud of), I got mad at her. I yelled at her for making such a huge mess on the first day of school. I said I wanted to make dinner and now there’s no way I could do that. 

The truth is, we have a rule that she can bake anytime she wants, as long as she cleans it up. She cooks or bakes every day. She knows the rule. She always cleans up. 

My expectation was:

She obviously knows that rule doesn’t apply today. It’s the first day of school. The house is spotless. I’m about to make dinner. 

Her expectation was: 

I’m allowed to bake whenever I want. I don’t have to ask. I know I have to clean it up and I will. 

The reality was: 

She baked horse treats which is in line with our household rules. 

Expectations vs. reality will get you, my friends. Next time you get mad at someone, check to see what you were expecting from them. Was that expectation realistic? Did you communicate that expectation? No and no, in my case. 

PS I hope that damn horse REALLY loves those treats. 

PPS She cleaned up every bit of it AND accepted my apology graciously. 

PPPS I coach clients 1 on 1 to create a more calm and intentional life. If that sounds like something you'd like to have, set up a 1 on 1 discovery call with me here.