Ep #65: 3 Easy Steps to Create the Life You Want
episode summary
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Do you ever feel like you're running on a hamster wheel, stuck in a cycle of overwhelm and frustration?
You're not alone. Many accomplished women feel this way, not knowing how to break free from the chaos of daily life. This episode will show you how having clear goals and a defined vision can transform your life from overwhelmed to intentional and fulfilling.
In this episode, you'll learn:
How to define your ideal day and create a vision for a more satisfying life.
Simple steps to appreciate what you already have.
How to take simple, practical steps to work toward the life you want, instead of feeling stuck in the life you have.
Listen to this episode now and start your journey towards a more intentional and calm life by defining your ideal day.
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Ideal Day Reflection:
Imagine your Ideal Day: Where do you wake up? How do you feel? What is your room like? Who is next to you, if anyone? What do you eat for breakfast? What do you do when you get up? Do you journal? Do you go exercise? What clothes do you put on for the day? What work do you do? Is it at home or do you go to an office? What does the space look like? What are your hours? Do you have coworkers? What do you have for lunch? Do you take a nap in the afternoon? What do you have for dinner? Who are you with? Are you having dinner with your family? Hosting friends? Having some quiet time alone with your cat? What's your bedtime routine? How do you feel before you fall asleep? (Etc, etc)
What parts of your ideal day already exist in your life right now?
Identify what is missing from your ideal day, and then list out some steps you could take to get there.
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For the full show notes and transcript, head over here.
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Discover practical strategies to overcome imposter syndrome, manage time effectively, and cultivate a calm and positive mindset while setting boundaries and combating negative self-talk in high-stress jobs, all while learning how to say no and prioritize self-care on the 'Overwhelmed Working Woman' podcast.
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CHAPTERS:
2:01 - The Importance of a Clear Destination
4:02 - Define Your Ideal Day
9:37 - Identify What You Have
11:35 - Identify What's Missing (& How to Get It)
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Do you ever feel like you're running around like a chicken with your head cut off with no idea of where you're going next? You're listening to Overwhelmed Working Woman, the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less. I'm your host, Michelle Gauthier, a former Overwhelmed Working Woman and current life coach. On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that today's working woman experiences and in each episode you'll get a strategy to bring more calm, ease, and relaxation to your life. Hey friend, thanks for joining. Today we're going to explore why having clear goals and knowing where you're going is crucial for overcoming overwhelm and frustration. I'll guide you through a simple exercise to help you define your ideal day, identify what parts of your ideal day you already have, and then create actual steps to achieve what's missing. By the end, you'll have a clearer vision of what you want and a plan to get there. Don't forget to stick around till the end to hear my do less for more success tip.
Michelle Gauthier:1:08
When I had a stressful corporate job, my whole life basically felt overwhelming and I had no idea how to get out of that. I knew I didn't love what I had, but I didn't know what my options were. I can remember one year, on my birthday, stopping work at like six o'clock to go out to dinner with my family and having a lovely dinner, and then going back to work until like midnight to work on some project that I, of course, can't even remember right now. I remember thinking, I feel so stuck, I don't know how to change this, I don't know how to stop doing things, I just- I I don't know how to get out of this. So if you're feeling that way now, stuck, maybe it's in your job, maybe it's in your relationship, maybe it's in your parenting or anything else, or some combination of all of those - the steps that I'm going to give you today will help you move in the direction of having better, more ideal days.
Michelle Gauthier:2:01
Before we jump into this, though, I want to talk about the importance of having clear goals. So, for example, if you don't have a destination and you jump into your car and you just start driving, you will go somewhere, but there is no guarantee that that somewhere is any better than where you are now. So think about this, like, what we're talking about today is we're going to dream your ideal destination, and then we are going to make the roadmap for you to get there. You don't have to know exactly where you're going. So, for example, if you don't love your job right now, maybe you don't know what you want to do instead, that's totally okay. This exercise will just help you start thinking about what you might want to do and especially how you want to feel. And if we go back to the driving metaphor, at least you'll know okay, I want to head toward the ocean, I want to head towards the mountains, I want to go towards the woods, and having an idea of where you're going and having that be a good thing is such a better way to focus your energy than to continually focus on I feel so overwhelmed, I'm so unhappy here, I'm so frustrated with my relationship, whatever those thoughts are. Okay.
Michelle Gauthier:3:09
So the first step that we're going to do is we are going to identify and define your ideal day. So Ideal Day is a tool I use in my coaching. In group coaching, you will get the full meditation to help you envision what your most ideal day would look like, along with a workbook to capture it, and then learn how to make yourself a vision board that encompasses it. So that's really like the full activity. But we don't have time for all that on this podcast. So what I'm going to do is give you a high- level rundown so that you can think about what your ideal day would contain. If you really want to make progress on feeling less overwhelmed and getting towards that more ideal day, I do recommend that you write down your answers so we'll put the questions that I'm about to ask you to ponder in the show notes too, in case you can't write them down right now because you're walking or driving or folding laundry or whatever you're doing while you're listening to this podcast.
Michelle Gauthier:4:02
First, you want to focus on just thinking about your ideal day. This is going to be like an ideal, normal day. This isn't going to be like the one day when you're in Bali and you decide to go skydiving or whatever. It's not like the most amazing, special day of your life. It's like your ideal Tuesday, when you're doing whatever you do on a normal Tuesday. So I want you to think about it in that way, but I also want you to think, this is just only in your imagination and you can come up with anything that you want. For example, when I think about this, I always dream up that someone makes my breakfast every day. Right now, I have breakfast every day, but I make my own breakfast. So in my ideal day, someone's making my breakfast every day. So make it whatever you want to be, and then we will work on in the next two steps how to actually start getting in that direction.
Michelle Gauthier:4:57
Okay, so, now that you've got the general idea, think about it being morning on your most ideal Tuesday and you open your eyes and just look around, and ask yourself, where do I wake up? How do you feel? What can you see, and where are you? Who is next to you, if anyone? If any kind of vision just popped into your head, just notice that and jot that down too. Mine always includes that I'm waking up in this luxurious bed with really nice sheets and a view of a lake through some trees. So that's a consistent one every
Michelle Gauthier:5:31
time I search for my own ideal day. S o see what yours looks like, then just keep focusing on what would happen throughout the rest of your day. So, are you a breakfast eater, like I am? What do you do when you get up? Do you go for a walk? Do you journal? Do you go exercise? Do you just lay in bed and do the Wordle and text your sister to let her know how long it took you to get it? That's what I do every day. I would do that on my ideal day too.
Michelle Gauthier:5:59
Do you want to have breakfast? If you do, envision what your breakfast smells like and looks like and who made that breakfast for you, or if you enjoyed making it for yourself. Where you're going to be eating it, what kind of view do you have? Are you having coffee? Are you having fresh- squeezed orange juice? Just think about what your most ideal morning would be. Ask yourself too, how am I feeling on that morning? So you had a feeling right when you woke up, and then how do you feel after you've had your breakfast?
Michelle Gauthier:6:29
One thing that always comes to mind for me when I'm doing this is that it is very not rushed, slow, and intentional. My days in real life often don't feel like that. So in my ideal day, it's going to be slow and intentional. When you do get ready for the day and you decide that you're going to get on to whatever you're doing for the rest of the day, envision what it looks like when you open the door of your closet. What does your closet have in it? How do you feel when you look in there and what do you wear on your ideal day? Is your closet super organized and filled with clothes that are all in neutral shades, or is it all workout clothes or comfortable clothes? Or do you like putting on a dress every day? What is it that is in your closet, how does it look, and what are you putting on? I know in my ideal day, there would be no uncomfortable clothes ever. You take your time to get ready if that's what you like to do, or get ready quickly if that's what you like to do, and then pause and see what you're going to do next and how you feel. So are you feeling relaxed or excited? And what are you going to do next? So imagine the next part of your day is doing
Michelle Gauthier:7:39
whatever work you do, paid or not, that feeds your soul. What is it that you're doing? Are you working in your home? Do you go to an office? If you go to an office, do you have co-workers and are you happy to see them? Or do you have your own space? Do you enjoy being in this space? What does the space look like? If you don't enjoy being in the space, recreate the space in your mind and make it something that you absolutely love, and then think about how long you spend working on an average day. So are you getting to work at like 9 or 10? And are you staying until 3? Or do you work from 9 to 12? And that's all you work on your most ideal day. You can make it whatever you want.
Michelle Gauthier:8:22
Obviously, you'll need to have a delicious lunch on your ideal day. So what do you eat, and where do you eat, and with whom? And again, focus in on all your senses. What's the temperature when you're eating your lunch? How do you feel? What do you see when you're looking around? How does it smell?
Michelle Gauthier:8:40
After you've finished your lunch, check back and see, are you finished with whatever your work you're doing for the day? Do you take a nap in the afternoon? And then what does your evening entail? Are you having dinner with a family? Are you entertaining a group of friends? Are you spending the evening alone, quietly? How does your home, or wherever you are, smell and sound this evening, compared to this morning, and what kind of view do you see? I'm picturing a beautiful sunset in my ideal day. And then how do you wind down in the evening? Is there a special place you like to sit and read a book? Do you watch TV? Who's with you? What does the scene look like? Do you change into pajamas? Do you get into bed and read and fall asleep easily? Notice what your last thoughts are right before you fall into a deep sleep on this ideal day, and then notice one more time how you feel.
Michelle Gauthier:9:37
Okay, so, hopefully, as I was going through that, you were kind of getting pictures in your head and or furiously writing down notes about what you found on your most ideal day. So now that you've got that, we're gonna move on to step two, which is identifying what you already have. So this is something that when I do this in my group coaching, it's always a surprise to people, because that ideal day that you just dreamt of, there are probably things in that ideal day that you actually already have. So, for example, if I think about my ideal day, I already have nice sheets and a super comfortable bed, so I can wake up in that already. I have access to buy the foods that I would like to eat for breakfast. I was envisioning like bacon and eggs and blueberries and strawberries. I could have that any day that I want. I also often wake up feeling excited about the day ahead, so I have that going for me already. I have a best friend who I can go to lunch with. I could definitely schedule a lunch with one of a handful of best friends.
Michelle Gauthier:10:39
And let's say, in your case, you hate your job that you have right now. But what aspects of your ideal day do you have now, even at that job you hate, do you have co-workers who you love to be around? Do you love your office and maybe do you get to work at home? Do you have a flexible schedule? If there's anything that you love about your job, jot it down and focus on that. Maybe you just have a really nice coffee machine at your office and that's something that you want in your ideal day, even if you don't want the job or the co-workers or anything else.
Michelle Gauthier:11:10
It's really good to remind yourself of what you already have. This is like the episode that I talked about in number 63, where focusing on your gain mindset, what you already have, can make you feel so much better without anything else changing. So notice what part of your ideal day you already have today, even if it's small and even if you have to really look for it. And then the third piece of this is identify what is missing from your ideal day and then list out some steps you could take to get there. So for this step, I want you to think small and big. I'll explain what I mean by that. So, for example, I said in my ideal day that I already have a bed that's really comfortable and some really nice sheets, but I woke up in some silk pajamas, long sleeve silk pajamas. So if that's what I want to wake up in, I could totally buy those for myself. I have access to get myself a great pair of pajamas, so I could do that.
Michelle Gauthier:12:11
If I'm thinking small, if I dreamt of being able to get up and do journaling as soon as I wake up, set your alarm 10 minutes early tomorrow and do some journaling. Or if you really want to feel relaxed on your ideal day, but your days now don't feel relaxing, make a list of things that you can do to feel relaxed and do those things. Maybe watch a movie with your family or take a bath. There are simple things that you could do. That won't get you all the way to your ideal day, but if you can do or feel one of the ways that you identified in your ideal day, it just gets you closer and closer to that. Now for the big things like, for example, I mentioned in mine, I want to wake up and look out the window and see a lake through some trees. So if I want to get closer to that, maybe I focus on planning a vacation where I can have that for a few days. Or, if I'm getting really simple about it, I could save that view as the screensaver on my phone. So when I wake up in the morning and my alarm goes off and I have to turn it off, I think on my ideal day I won't have an alarm, but today I do. My alarm goes off. I see that picture. I see a view out to a lake with some trees in front of it. That's something I could do. Maybe I start looking at real estate and start looking at local lakes and see where I could one day get that place.
Michelle Gauthier:13:31
And for your career, if you're like an accountant right now but you want to become a curator at an art gallery, that would probably take several steps to actually achieve that. Not impossible, might I note, but a small step you could take is to get a pass to your local art gallery, like a season pass or whatever they're called, so that you can just go there all the time. Or maybe, if you live in St. Louis, like me, it's completely free. So just go visit it as much as possible, study the artists, learn more things about art, or maybe you research what it takes to have that kind of job and start doing whatever training is required for it. So this step isn't meant to make you feel stressed out. You're already overwhelmed and busy. So think small, even for the big things. Even if you want to make a huge career change, think about the small steps that you could take to get there.
Michelle Gauthier:14:19
Okay, to wrap this all up, I just want to remind you of a couple things. First, having clear goals is essential to reducing overwhelm and frustration. So again, back to the car. If you jump in your car and you start driving somewhere, that's great, but if you really want to get somewhere specific and know where you're going, you have to have a map. So make yourself a map. Do that by identifying and defining your ideal day. Again, the questions for that are going to be in the show notes and then finally, identify what you already have as part of your ideal day and start appreciating and having gratitude for that and then, for the things that you don't identify, some small steps that you can take to get there.
Michelle Gauthier:15:06
As I mentioned at the start, this is a big part of what we do in group coaching. You define your ideal and you create a vision board. Then we focus on how to solve all the problems between you and your ideal day. We cover changing mindsets, setting boundaries, adjusting expectations, and taking action even when it feels super uncomfortable. If you get on the early bird list, which you can do today, if you want to join, the link is again in the show notes, you'll get a $250 discount if you sign up. So it is good for you to take two minutes to get on the early bird list and next week, when the sign up for group coaching opens, you will automatically get a $250 discount.
Michelle Gauthier:15:45
Okay, now on to the do less for more success tip. My do less for more success tip is related to the summer and having your kids around for the summer. My kids basically make messes and eat things all day long and I never know what we're out of or what they need. So a rule that I have in my house is that they have to put on the Alexa grocery list what we need, otherwise it doesn't get into this house. So if you have Alexa, you could do that. If you don't have Alexa, you could come up with some other way. But they have to put things on the list in order for me to buy them, and then I put them on the Instacart list and buy them and have them delivered. This saves time and simplifies your routine. Okay, that's it for this week. Don't forget to sign up for the group coaching early bird list and I will see you next Monday. Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast. If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at michellegauthier.com. See you next week.
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