Eavesdropping on your own mind
How are you feeling right now?
Whatever the answer is, there is a thought that made you feel that way.
If you’re feeling energized, maybe you had the thought “It’s going to be a great day.”
If you’re feeling relaxed, you could have had the thought “I’m so glad I have the day off today.”
And if you’re feeling angry, maybe your thought is “Does anyone else EVER pick up in this house?”
The beautiful part about this thought-feeling connection is that if you can access your thought, you can understand why you feel a certain way. If you change the thought, you can change how you feel, too. It’s an amazingly powerful tool.
So why is it so hard to know what we’re thinking?
Studies indicate that 90 - 98% of our thoughts are subconscious, meaning we aren’t thinking about what we’re thinking about! This works out really well for things that we want to do automatically, like remembering and typing our password 800 times a day.
The problem occurs when we have a feeling, but don’t know the source. Let’s say for example you are feeling overwhelmed, but aren’t exactly sure why.
Try this “thought download” tool to figure it out.
It’s very simple. Just grab a piece of paper, and spend 3 minutes writing down all of the thoughts in your head. Pose the question “why do I feel X, what are the thoughts in my head?”
For example:
Why do I feel overwhelmed? What are the thoughts in my head?
My house is a mess
I’m not paying enough attention to my kids
I’m short with my kids
It’s too loud in here
My husband is driving me nuts and not helping
I haven’t showered in days
I’m sad that people are sick with Covid and I can’t do anything
I’m worried about my parents getting sick
My work needs more attention than its getting
Sometimes just writing thoughts down helps to take away their power. Choose one that you can take immediate action on and do it. In my example from above, take a shower, or turn down the music, or call your mom.
It’s amazing what we can find if we just eavesdrop on our brain. Give it a try!
PS: Circumstances never cause feelings. Only your thoughts about the circumstances do. For example, a pandemic cannot make you feel anxious. Your thoughts about the pandemic cause you to feel anxious. If you need help working through this, set up a free hour with me. I’ll coach you and see if my “90 Days to Calm” 1 on 1 coaching is a good fit for you.